A few days ago I just browsed my old pictures in my mobile phone and I found my dad's last message to me which I screen captured so I won't lose it. I miss my dad a lot :((((( From all of my family members, the one I can comfortably talk to is only my dad. Now I feel really so much lonely, not because I'm all alone. I'm surrounded by many people, but none of them I can talk to. It's very hard to find someone who can understand our mind and have the same way of thinking, also even harder to have someone who would understand what we feel.
My dad texted me on the day he passed away. But I didn't reply it because I was about to meet him again in the next few days. Who knows that it would be his last words to me. Anyhow I feel grateful at least my dad said good bye to me before he really went for good. Actually a week before he's gone, he sent me off to airport. We sat on a bench while drinking coffee. I ordered a bitter coffee due to my diet restriction, but I didn't like it so I gave it to my dad. And he finished it. Then after he finished my coffee, he walked me to the boarding gate. It's the last time I saw him and said my last good bye. All I can remember is he's smiling to me and waved from the gate door. I feel grateful I have one good memory of my last moment with my dad.
Although I feel regret that I didn't reply his message, but I don't have any regret at all about the things I have done while he's still alive. I have been a good daughter to my dad, I've showed him all of my good achievements. I never got in a big trouble that made him worry or disappoint with me. I graduated satisfyingly and then got a good job which made him feel relieve to leave me by myself. So there's nothing I regret about his leaving. The only thing I regret is just I couldn't go home and spend more time anymore with him. I feel like an orphan now.
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