I Miss You, Dad...

It's really late at night, and I can't even sleep, dad. Tomorrow I have to go work again, but there are a lot of things that keep me awake. Yesterday I dreamt you picked me up from all of this nightmare. I'm afraid. I'm all alone here. Seems like I've got many friends here, but I can't say who's really a friend. I miss you, dad... I miss to go out with you to Pizza Hut. I know you really like Pizza. I really miss eating your home-made delicious porridge. Sometimes when I go home, you'll take me to Ayam Kremes Restaurant because you know exactly I like it. You didn't mind at all when all I wanted was just being quite when I didn't want to tell anything happened to me. Instead you would tell me some stories to make me laugh or giving some advice and good words to make me feel better. You always picked me up anywhere I asked you to with your old rustic car. I don't mind riding on that car at all, because our family had so many memories there. We had it for a long time since we're all still together as a whole family. That green rustic car taught us so many things. You taught me so many things in that car with many stories. You taught me to live modestly, being honest wherever I am, and be grateful of what we have. You didn't fulfill everything that I wanted. But you always tried your very best to give what I really needed. Thank you dad... I always remember how you said no that day to something that I really wanted. And then I went to the bedroom crying. Then after awhile you asked me to dress up to buy that thing together, even though I knew we're in a difficult economic that time.

Two or three months ago before I left, you said that every moment only happened for once in our life. The moment when you used to drove me to the school everyday. The moment you used to wake up every morning to boil us a pan of hot water for me and my younger brother. So we could take a bath without getting cold, while you took the cold water. How worse I was that moment when I got late, I would angry to you because you didn't wake up early. And when you were praying, I knocked from outside telling you to get hurry. But you never mad to me. I am sorry, dad. I blamed you for everything that happened to us. How could I thought that this is all your fault, and you deserved to get all bad deeds from me. I am really sorry, dad.

I am so sorry that I got failed so many times, dad. Even here, I'm too ashamed to say that I can't make it well. I could have been failed again. These days here were very hard. I'm really tired, I'm so tired. Wish you were here to accompany me. Just like what we used to do, just watching movies together and laugh. Or hearing musics from our favorite radio station while sharing some stories.

I would like to send this by postcard with a good stamp that you might collect. But I'm too afraid to do this kind of sentimental thing. Because our family never used to do that. Dad, wherever you are... I always pray the best for you as you always pray the best for me. Thank you for taking care of me all of this time. I love you, daddy.

Gute nacht. Alles gute. Tschüss.

-your daughter-

Being Modest

At the morning train - Kereta AC Ekonomi
Manggarai Station
Jakarta, 2010
[mariana photographs]

I miss this kind of ordinary thing

that will accept you whatever you are

Along The Lane

when I have nowhere to run, 

I just go anywhere around and round

and spending so much time in a silent by myself

with a bunch of things noise my head

turn on some musics to ease the silence

or write anything when words come through

just to feel better...

view from the locomotive cabin of Kereta Ekonomi
Jakarta, 2009
[mariana photographs]

Tips Superrrr of The Day

Hari ini mendapatkan kata-kata penuh energi dari Pak Mario Teguh. Subhanallah, Indonesia memiliki seseorang dengan personaliti yang LUARRR BIASA. Berikut cuplikan-cuplikan penyemangat beliau:

Semoga Lekas Sembuh - [Bagian 2]

Ini message dari ibu saya hari ini:


Ria,sdh seminggu Nadya sakit DB kemarin turun drastis trombositnya smpe 5000 jd dokter sarankan msk ICU krn takut perdarahan yg keluar dr pori2,dia bisa meninggal, krn batas berbahaya dr 19000 kebwh,untungnya dia gak ada perdarahan tp organ2 tubuhnya sdh kemasukan air. Semalam mama lht di ICU dia lg tidur tp trombositnya sdh naik jd 10000 jg tensinya stabil,sblmnya ga stabil krn dia nangis klo bangun lht sndrian di kmr ICU. kita doa kan sj cpt naik jd 50000 jd bs pindah ke kmr rwt inap ga di ICU lg.


Nad, sekarang gw bener-bener kangen sama lo. Cepetan sembuh nad. Ga lucu banget nih lo kenapa-kenapa pas gw lagi ga ada disana. Yang kuat yaa, keluarga Tanjung ga ada yang lemah. Ayoo semangat nad, bangun-banguuun...

Semoga Lekas Sembuh - [Bagian 1]

Sepupu saya, si Nadya Naia, hari ini masuk ICU karena sakit demam berdarah dan thypus. Mohon doanya ya agar sepupu saya yang pintar masak ini bisa cepat sembuh. 

Iya nad, sekarang gw kangen banget dah sama lo. Yang penting lo cepet sembuh. Obatnya diminum, dilawan penyakitnya. Ayoo, lo pasti bisa sembuh! Kan mau nyusul gw ke sini. Ntar lebaran dibawain coklat-coklat pesenan lo yang banyak. Mau Hersheys, Kinder, atau Ritter Sport? Hehee, Cepat sembuh lah nad. Belom nyobain sambel motahnya nih gw.

Spesial saya kasih pink, karena dia suka banget warna pink. Si princess pinky, get well soon! 

Sekedar info ga penting, kami ini sama-sama keturunan Padang dengan marga Tanjung. Kami berdua punya kemiripan yang jadi ciri khas keluarga ini, yaitu sama-sama keras kepala dan kalau bicara ceplas-ceplos. To the point ke permasalahan, dan selalu punya pendiriannya masing-masing. Kalau kami dikumpulin jadi satu, langsung deh debat-debat ga jelas bakal terjadi, tapi tetep fun. Kami menikmati adu-adu pendapat ga penting itu, apalagi pas lebaran. Rame banget. Semua punya pemikirannya masing-masing. He he. Anyway, saya suka banget postingan blognya sepupu saya yang satu ini. Nyepet banget. He he. Nice one, sis'. 

Banyak2 dzikir ya.

Horaaay, Gerbong Khusus Wanita!

Para wanita pengguna setia KRL kini bisa bergembira. Karena PT. Kereta Api bakal ngeluncurin 2 gerbong khusus untuk penumpang wanita mulai tanggal 19 Agustus 2010. Satu gerbong di paling depan Kereta Api, satu lagi di paling belakang. Cihuy! Jadi sekarang ga usah cemas sama makhluk-makhluk tidak bertanggung jawab yang suka iseng di kereta, ga usah takut sama pria-pria psikopat yang doyan nempel-nempel, ga perlu khawatir gegencetan depan belakang pas lagi penuh, karena semua gerbong isinya wanita. Yap, ini baru namanya syar'i. Sangat menjunjung harkat dan martabat wanita. Hidup PT. KA!

Jadi buat yang udah berpasangan, sementara pas naik kereta harus misah dulu. Ha ha. Hanya saja peraturan ini baru berlaku buat jalur Jakarta - Bogor. Soalnya jalur ini yang paling banyak penumpangnya dibanding jalur lainnya. Dan diberlakukan khusus untuk KRL Ekonomi AC dan Ekspress. Sayang banget ya, padahal sebenernya yang perlu banget peraturan ini tuh KRL yang ekonomi biasa. Kereta yang isinya tumpah ruwah semerawut seperti pasar dipindahin ke dalam kereta. Mungkin saking ga bisa diaturnya yang KRL ekonomi ini jadi peraturannya bisa dipastikan ga akan mempan.

1:36

Malam ini saya tidak bisa tidur. Belum mengantuk karena seharian terlalu excited merombak tampilan kasur saya jadi sangat homy. Kebetulan lagi ada SALE segala perlengkapan rumah, harga-harga pada turun. Hehee, beginilah calon ibu-ibu hobi belanja sekaligus penggemar interior. Doyan banget beli pritilan aksesoris buat ngedekor rumah. Hihiii. Senangnyaa. Yah ini salah satu kegiatan yang benar-benar bikin saya rileks kalo lagi tegang, banyak kerjaan, dan kepala mumet. Solusinya hanya satu, mengalihkan pikiran ke hal-hal yang menyenangkan. Belanja! :D

Yuuk

Kalau dilihat-lihat lalu saya baca-baca sekilas isi blog saya ini, ternyata kebanyakan nuansanya melankolia yaa. Hahaa, blog ini emang menggambarkan karakter saya banget! Gloomy doomy di sana sini. Haiyah. Terutama postingan semester belakangan. Isinya kurang banyak cerita, cuma seuprit-uprit tulisan sama gambar atau kutipan sana kutipan sini, benar-benar tidak bermutu. Hahahaa, kayak gini mana bisa jadi penulis best seller. Huuu.... Biarkanlah, yang penting masih menulis. Bukan begitu? Kalau kata confucius, "It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop." Ga masalah lambat, ga masalah isinya acak adut, yang penting nulis. Ga penting ga ada yang baca, ga penting ga ada yang komen, yang penting niatnya berbagi. Setuju? :D

Ada seorang penulis yang pernah memberikan saran bagus, dia bilang kalau mau jadi penulis handal yang penting tiap hari menulis. Menulis apa saja, yang penting menulis. Begitu juga dengan pelukis, kalau mau jadi pelukis ya setiap hari harus menggambar. Gambar apa saja tidak masalah yang penting menggambar. Sketsa sana sketsa sini. Scratch scratch, erase, and then scratch scratch scratch. Voila! Satu sketsa jadi. Begitu terus tiap hari hingga tidak terasa suatu hari tiba-tiba kita sudah punya banyak karya, siapa tahu salah satunya adalah masterpiece.